5 Best Things to Overcome Intense Caregiver Stress

Caregiver stress is real – and it can be life-threatening if left unchecked. Caring for a loved one is both an act of love and an intense responsibility, but too often, caregivers put their own needs last. Here are 5 must-do strategies to overcome intense caregiver stress.

The prolonged emotional and physical demands of caregiving can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and even severe health issues.

As a nurse and caregiver, I’ve witnessed firsthand how overwhelming caregiver stress can be. But I didn’t fully understand the true cost of neglecting self-care until my own family experienced a heartbreaking loss.

In this post, I’ll share 5 strategies to help you manage and overcome intense caregiver stress. These insights come not only from my professional background but also from my personal journey.

By the end, you’ll learn how to:

• Share caregiving duties effectively
• Take much-needed breaks without guilt
• Get outside help and support
• Recognize when caregiving has become too much
• Use faith to strengthen your well-being

As a nurse, caregiving is my calling.

But there is a big, BIG, BIG difference between caregiving as a calling and answering a call to be a caregiver for your loved one!

One provides a living, and the other can literally take the living.

If you’re struggling to balance caregiving and self-care, this guide is for you. Let’s dive in.

Need some help finding time to take better care of yourself? Get your FREE copy of the Self-care Starter Guide HERE!

Caregiver stress can cause burnout and even be life-threatening. Prolonged strain and intensity can progress to severe health problems, so reducing the pressure you experience is imperative.

Protecting caregivers through stress reduction and self-care promotion is one of my passions. But my focus didn’t come from my nursing education or experiences.

Rather, it occurred after the death of my beloved aunt, who let the stress of caring for my care-dependent grandmother impact her self-care to the point of her mortality.

Caregiver Stress Can Eventually Override Self-Care

It’s imperative to know how to overcome intense caregiver stress because, left unchecked, it can eventually override basic self-care needs, putting you at risk for burnout. This post will show you how to use the following 5 strategies to prevent or overcome intense caregiver stress. The strategies are below.

First, some personal background.

My aunt had been complaining for 2-3 days about a sharp pain in her upper chest that went to her back. But, she did not seek any medical attention for this pain.

In fact, she never went to the doctor.

Ever.

She did not do the necessary check-ups.

She never felt like she had the time.

Her caregiving duties always overrode her self-care.

After her death, over three days, my family worked together to provide 24/7 care for my grandma while planning a funeral for my aunt.

Talk about caregiver stress!

We found an open bed in a skilled-care facility not too far away. We hired a medical bus to transport my grandma to what I knew would be her last home.

As I rode with my grandma, a kaleidoscope of thoughts and emotions flew through my mind.

The transit ride was so much bumpier than I expected…I thought it would ride like a bus, but this was more like riding in the back of a pickup truck. And yet it was exactly like what we were experiencing. My aunt took the very best care of my grandma.

But because she did not take care of herself, the journey was unexpectedly and tragically bumpy.

All along, my mom, dad, brothers, and uncle were each trying to help in the ways they could. Now, they were all second-guessing their past work and involvement in Grandma’s care, wondering if they could have done something different to have changed the outcome of today.

And as the nurse and point person for the care, I was right there worrying about my past work with them.

But after reflecting on all of this, we did so much right!

So here are 5 strategies to help you do it right, too!

5 Tips to Manage and Overcome Intense Caregiver Stress

1 Share Duties

Sharing Duties – All families are quirky to some level, right? But success comes from a family working together.

I was so impressed to see each of my family members doing things they did best. Not just during the funeral preparation but during the entire caregiving process.

• My aunt was the best suited for hands-on care (she lived with Grandma her entire life).
• However, my mom and uncle split the other duties based on their likes and strengths.
• My mom was the runner and driver.
• My uncle would provide respite while my aunt went out with my mom.
• My brothers and dad would fix things or help with basic maintenance, cleaning, and even pet care!
• I live 8 hours away but provided ongoing coordination, teaching, and encouragement.

2 Get Out of the House

Getting Out of the House – This is critical!

My aunt got out of the house and went with friends regularly. She always felt a little guilty, but it was so important. As my grandma’s care needs started increasing, it was more difficult for my aunt to feel like it was okay to go…but that was when it was even more important for her to get out!

That’s when other people stepped in to provide care.

My mom and uncle would take turns staying with my grandma with my aunt, a professional aide (partially paid for through a state-funded elderly program), or other friends who helped. Although I noticed my aunt’s outings were decreasing, she was getting out to have fun.

She also had times when she could work on a couple of hobbies at home. My aunt was always proud to show off her progress in her work.

Make a rule that you must go out on a regular basis. Hopefully, leaving the guilt at home becomes easier the more you go.

3 Get Outside Help to Overcome Intense Caregiver Stress

She had outside help – Although some of the help came from family and friends who volunteered, she also received help and services from several agencies.

Caregiving is not something that can be done all alone in the long term.

My aunt definitely wasn’t alone (and you shouldn’t be, either).

The house was clean, and Grandma received exceptional care. I wish my aunt had better cared for her physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health needs.

As Grandma’s care began getting more intensive, it became more time-consuming and exhausting for my aunt. She spent a lot of our visits talking about caregiving duties.

• It is acceptable to take a break.
• It’s acceptable to have help.
• And while someone is in the home, absolutely take a 5-minute break!

4. Know When Stress on the CareGiver Is Too Much

Knowing this now, I wish our family would have considered a discussion to watch for a couple of goals or milestones.

Every family will have different situations, but it is important to identify:

1. When more help is needed. This can be determined by:
   1. How many hours/day are needed for direct caregiving
   2. How much lifting is needed
   3. Having a family discussion upfront is a great starting place. It removes the ‘giving up’ feeling because the family watches for milestones previously declared too much for one caregiver.
2. When it is time for a facility or possibly hospice care. Nobody wants to talk about these things. But it is easier to have the discussion if a framework is set up from the beginning. It is especially helpful to ease guilt during the most difficult periods.

Caregiver stress is real and can be dangerous, but some things can be done to overcome it.

Implementing precautions like sharing duties, getting the primary caregiver out of the house, and getting outside help can provide tremendous support.

Additionally, setting up a plan to know when even more help is needed or when to move your loved one to a facility or hospice care is also extremely valuable.

5. Use Your Faith to Improve Your Self-care to Overcome Intense Caregiver Stress

I didn’t know it then, but I wish I had known I could have used my faith to improve my self-care.

In order to fulfill our calling or serve the Lord to our fullest, we need to be mindful of our self-care. The Lord created our bodies, and they require self-care.

It doesn’t matter if we think we don’t have time, don’t need it, or even feel unworthy to focus on ourselves. We still NEED it to live out our purpose at our highest ability.

It’s likely you’re not just taking care of just one person. You may also be trying to take better care of yourself.

You take care of others too.

Whether you care for your children, support your spouse, serve in a ministry, or maybe even all of the above, it takes strong motivation to prioritize self-care when caring for others.

So consider taking care of yourself to worship and honor the Lord.

I know that it can be difficult to overcome intense caregiver stress. And I also know how fast that feeling of overwhelm can happen.

So, please implement strategies to support your family caregiver!

If you’re the primary caregiver, you will experience the brunt of the stress, so be especially mindful of self-care.

Remember these suggestions to prevent or overcome intense caregiver stress:

1. Share duties
2. Get the caregiver out of the house
3. Get outside help
4. Set caregiving milestones to determine when it is too much
5. Use your faith to improve your self-care

The rest of my story is my personal struggle to overcome intense caregiver stress.

On that fall day, when I received the phone call that started it all, I picked up the receiver, and my mom stated, “Lisa, my sister passed away today!”

With my aunt’s death, I needed to care for my grandma. As a nurse, I was ready to do what needed to be done.

Caregiver Stress Impacts Emotions

In a blur of what I assumed was packing and phone calls, I quickly ended up on a flight home. I numbly sat in the airport during a layover, trying to figure out future care options for my grandma.

After I arrived, I noticed we all felt stressed, nobody slept well, and there was that constant weird feeling that we were so busy but not doing anything to move forward.

Even though I knew we were all stressed, I felt irritable dealing with my family and felt like I was the only one who could do things right for my grandma.

I began understanding how personal emotions can impact a caregiver’s day or mood.

Caregiver Stress Takes Over Priorities

The stress of caregiving for my grandma caused some tunnel vision. My only focus was on giving care to Grandma. There was no hunger, exhaustion, or… anything else.

My family’s suggestions to rest or let someone else take a turn went ignored.

The caregiving experience with my grandma wasn’t like the typical nursing caregiving I was familiar with performing.

I knew I was part of a team of other qualified nurses. Nurses quickly hand off care to the oncoming shift nurse.

• I’m comfortable with others taking a turn
• I feel hunger and fatigue after a 12-hour shift
• I set limits and only connect emotionally on a professional level

Caring for my grandmother, I couldn’t let go.

I loved her and wanted to do it all for her.

Only, I couldn’t see that I wasn’t:

1. Providing skilled nursing care, so anyone (who is willing) can learn caregiving
2. Taking care of MY self-care needs
3. Going to be able to give my best in the long-term
4. Saving my mental energy to find a long-term caregiving solution

And just like that, caregiver stress took over my priorities too! 

So, again, in closing, remember these suggestions:

1. Share duties
2. Get the caregiver out of the house
3. Get outside help
4. Set caregiving milestones to determine when it is too much
5. Use your faith to improve your self-care

These are the five best ways to overcome intense caregiver stress.

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