You might feel like you’re the only one trying to overcome self-care barriers, but that is untrue. We all have them, and there are some simple and easy things you can do to deal with them! So get ready to overcome your self-care obstacles!
Most of us agree that self-care is a priority, especially for people who serve and care for others.
Self-care is a daily necessity, and it includes all of the self-care activities, actions, and behaviors we do to help us manage stress, prevent illness, build coping skills, and stay well.
While we probably agree that self-care is essential for everyone, most people don’t see self-care barriers similarly.
Instead, we think we’re the only ones struggling with self-care, and everyone else is rocking it because they don’t have the obstacles we do.
However, there are several common barriers to self-care, and many people struggle with them.
Even more important to understand is that there are simple ways to deal with these self-care barriers.
I list several of them below, so keep reading! For your convenience, you can click on the links listed above to go directly to a specific self-care barrier or read the entire article.
While we’re talking about self-care, are you exhausted & overwhelmed?
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Dealing with the Most Common Barriers to Self-care
As you might expect, some solutions are more comfortable than others.
But it IS possible to deal with your barriers to self-care.
Moreover, you can learn to transform the suggestions in this article into healthy habits and incorporate them into your self-care routine.
The point to remember, however, is to avoid having unrealistic expectations.
No matter how seemingly ‘simple’ the barrier is, implementing these changes effectively into your daily routine will take some time.
But you can do this! So let’s go through them.
No matter where you are on your self-care journey, self-care is essential for your spiritual, physical, and mental health.
Self-care is about meeting your basic human needs.
Interestingly, despite our time constraints, there are many ways to incorporate self-care practices into our busy schedules and everyday life.
However, for many people, the struggle is not about the importance of self-care or even what to include in a self-care plan.
Instead, the real challenges are dealing with the different things that interfere with implementing and staying consistent with me-time.
Through prior research of >1000 people, the most common barriers to self-care include the following list of items.
Motivation
Many people report that they don’t have the motivation to perform adequate self-care.
I’ve found this barrier is most often tied to two specific self-care goals.
- Getting regular physical activity
- Eating healthy food
Many recent research articles show that a lack of motivation is common when people make significant lifestyle changes.
Improving dietary habits or getting regular exercise can feel overwhelming or even like a giant project when first starting. This is because, for most people, the learning curve is very steep.
For example, many people are surprised to discover that one of the first things they must learn is what a healthy meal looks like.
Most people don’t know what they don’t know, which produces common blind spots. Sometimes, these blind spots can create barriers of different types or sizes.
Running into self-care barriers can be discouraging, but they are part of your journey and don’t represent failure.
Thankfully, you can do some things to deal with a lack of motivation.
- First, break your self-care goals into small steps. Instead of making massive, sweeping changes, develop one simple, tiny habit at a time. Wellness can occur through consistent baby steps.
- Second, start with the self-care strategies that you enjoy doing. For example, if you like going to Yoga to relieve stress, start with that. Different people will want different things, so there’s not one perfect way to start. Instead, starting with self-care activities you enjoy creates a great way to begin taking better care of yourself.
If you enjoy meditation, reduce stress by increasing the time spent meditating.
TIP: Start with self-care strategies you enjoy to increase your motivation for self-care.
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Looking for a way to stay motivated about taking better care of yourself? Check out my Bible study by clicking this link:
Feeling Guilt
People also voice guilt when spending time or money on themselves, as a common barrier to self-care.
This is especially true for people who care for others, either as professional or unpaid in-home caregivers for aging parents, young or special needs children, and significant others at home.
Sometimes, people confuse self-care with self-pampering and self-indulgence, but these are not usually the same or even bad.
Self-pampering or self-indulgence is something we can enjoy in moderation.
- Maybe it’s getting a pedicure or a relaxing massage at a spa.
- It might be eating a special meal or dessert.
- It might be a beachside vacation.
- Or taking bubble baths with a luxurious brand.
- Barring financial constraints, most of us enjoy occasional pampering.
Self-care, however, is not the same thing.
As I’ve mentioned, self-care is related to your activities of daily living used to meet your basic needs. Self-care is how you care for your mind, body, and soul.
It’s genuinely about meeting your physical health needs and maintaining emotional and mental well-being.
For example, when considering your self-care, most wouldn’t dream of:
- Never taking a shower.
- Never going to sleep.
- Never brushing your teeth.
Your self-care falls into a similar priority level as your basic hygiene.
Marketing firms have monetized portions of self-care, and now their messages tell us that the best or appropriate self-care takes a lot of time and money.
But the truth remains: you don’t have to spend much time or money on self-care.
Self-care can be quick, simple, and even free. You don’t have to spend any money to experience the benefits of self-care.
Consider the following self-care activities the next time you want to reduce your stress or relax for a few minutes. You could:
- Take deep breaths.
- Drink a cup of tea for over 10 minutes.
- Take a short nap.
- Sit with your eyes closed for 5-10 minutes.
- Spend a full day doing something or being around people you enjoy.
But even if you spend money on self-care, the return on your time and money investment is high, and not just for you but also for the people you serve and care for.
Here are a couple of examples to consider:
- Getting a gym membership
- Having a wellness check-up or physical with your primary care provider
- Setting up an appointment with a clinical psychologist (to work on coping skills or talk through issues concerning you)
Finally, feeling guilty about making time for yourself may signal that you lack proper personal boundaries. So, set stricter boundaries.
It’s a straightforward solution and can help improve self-care.
TIP: Set boundaries to reduce guilty feelings associated with spending time or money on your self-care.
A Lack of Awareness
A lack of personal boundaries can also interfere with the awareness of your own needs and self-care behaviors.
Sometimes, being preoccupied with a loved one’s illness or worrying about a symptom can eclipse seeing your own needs.
For example:
- Caregivers with an ill family member might find they never feel hungry.
- People serving in a stressful ministry may find themselves working long hours, skipping breaks, or forgoing lunch during acute cases because they sense the urgency of the client’s situation but not their fatigue.
- Healthcare providers may be pressured to work without time off, or staff vacancies may be required when patient care needs are high. Unfortunately, these are common barriers to self-care for nurses and nursing assistants.
- It’s vital to stop for a lunch break, take short breaks, and use the restroom.
If you are a family member’s caregiver, nurture interests and hobbies outside of your family to stay connected to who you are as a person—even an hour a week will help!
Connecting regularly with your support system can help you become more aware of your emotional and physical needs, especially if you talk through or about your negative emotions with friends or family you trust.
TIP: If you find that you aren’t aware of your own needs, consider a strategy. Perhaps set alarms on your phone to take a break or ask a friend to keep you accountable (ask them not to take no for an answer!).
Believing Self-care is a Vanity Measure – Common Barriers to Self-care
Self-care is not a sign of weakness.
Self-care is not a vanity measure!
That said, young people may think like I did and believe self-care is just for people who are sick or elderly.
This isn’t true!
People of all ages should be in tune with their self-care needs to handle life stressors. You’re never too young to pay attention to your self-care needs! So start today.
The truth is, you have to do your self-care; there’s no way out of it.
If you don’t care for yourself, you will struggle or even suffer (this is by design). Self-care is a necessity based on the way God created us.
A great start toward self-care is making it a daily practice to pay attention to the needs of your mind, body, and soul.
TIP: Resting when you’re tired is a powerful, yet under-utilized self-care strategy because it is viewed as laziness or weakness. Rest is a good thing!
Putting Others’ Needs First
People who serve or care for others frequently face barriers to self-care.
Interruptions are commonplace.
At some point, most moms, dads, professional or unpaid caregivers, and people serving in ministry all find that caring for others interferes with caring for themselves in some way. They may notice:
- Disruptions happen so often that they routinely think, “I’ll take better care of myself tomorrow.”
- Or, “I’ll tend to my needs when [special person] no longer needs my services.”
- These statements are subtle ways of placing your personal needs under someone else’s needs.
Putting your needs aside for another would be okay if caregiving or serving others were just for a few days.
But in most cases, it’s not.
To deal with this thinking, you’ll need to change your mindset.
People who care for others are more prone to putting others’ needs before their own.
If you’re one of these people, you likely enjoy caring for others, and it feels good to do so.
So, you will need to accept a different paradigm.
- For example, “I need to take care of myself today so that I can give my best [care] to [someone or something important to you] tomorrow and in the future.”
- Another example is, “I need to tend to my self-care needs so I can serve [special person] as long as they need it.”
- The old saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” applies well here. To stay well, you’ll need to adapt to these necessary changes.
This quote is exceptionally accurate if you have chronic disease symptoms yourself (which is common).
For example, suppose you have high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, diabetes, or other chronic diseases or health symptoms.
In this case, the benefits of self-care in your daily life are even more valuable. To clarify further, for the person with diabetes, diabetes self-management is imperative to their health and wellness and the ability to continue to serve and care for others adequately!
For people who serve others, understanding how self-care can help you continue to do what you love can be helpful and motivating to take good care of yourself.
TIP: Instead of finding reasons to put your self-care off until later, give value to why you should perform self-care now.
Time – One of the Biggest Barriers to Maintaining Self-care Strategies!
Many people struggle with one of the following three problems when they say they don’t have enough me-time or self-care.
A. Too Many Responsibilities
In many cases, people have way too many commitments or tasks on their to-do lists.
If lack of time is one of your barriers to self-care, it’s essential to take an honest look at your schedule and time commitments.
There are limited hours in a day, and you should spend some time taking care of yourself. The funny thing is that it’s easy to spot this scenario in other people’s lives but not ours.
The truth is, you may need to learn how to say no to some things.
It is okay to say no, even to good things, so you can feel great doing the right things.
B Difficulty Prioritizing
The key to successfully prioritizing your time is understanding that not everything you need to do has equal weight.
In other words, the most effective way to better prioritize your time is to assign a value or number to the task on your to-do list. For example:
- If you have eight tasks on your to-do list, choose the lowest priority and give it an eight.
- Identify the next lowest priority, give it a seven, and so on.
- Eventually, you will have a list of tasks prioritized from most important to least.
- Start with the most important task (and your me-time should be in the top 3!).
C Inability to Properly Manage Time
Finally, time management can be a barrier for many. It’s probably not surprising to learn how distracting social media can be.
Instead of grabbing your phone to scroll social media, assign a set time to do so (after high-priority tasks are completed).
Remember that even good things can be distracting.
TIP: Be diligent about saying no, assigning a priority to your to-do list, and avoiding distractions.
Feeling Unworthy of Self-care
Feeling unworthy may be hard to admit, but we all feel this way at one time or another.
Feelings of worthlessness can occur when we feel overwhelmed by change or when exhausted. Negative self-talk is also more prevalent when we experience symptoms of exhaustion or burnout.
As I mentioned, we can occasionally feel this way, but healthy self-care habits can help us through these times.
Healthy habits help you with self-care even when you feel unworthy. Good self-care habits help you perform self-care anyway.
If your faith is important, you can also use religious practices to help improve your feelings. For Christians, praying or reading Scripture can help them remember how much God loves them. You are worthy of self-care. God designed your body, and it requires self-care.
TIP: You are worthy, no matter how you feel. Form habits to help you through difficult times.
Now You Can Conquer the Barriers to Self-care
In closing, I mentioned making small changes—baby steps, even. Small, consistent changes can lead to great success.
Therefore, I encourage you to consider small, simple changes to better care for yourself, no matter where you are on your journey.
Don’t forget your FREE Self-care Starter Guide! Get it HERE.
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Post originally published in 2020.
Be sure to grab your FREE Self-care Starter Guide! Lisa Kimrey is a 33-year veteran registered nurse (RN), speaker, and author of the Bible study, The Self-care Impact: Motivation and Inspiration for Wellness. At Mylifenurse, Lisa combines her nursing expertise with Scripture-based encouragement to show readers who serve and care for others how to begin and maintain their self-care journey – without feeling guilty or overwhelmed – to feel happy, healthy, and rejuvenated.