What if you learned that caregiving was your new role starting today? Do you have the answers every new caregiver needs?
What would be your first question if you started being a caregiver today? And, what if the caregiving would go on for a whole month?
What about two months? A year? Or indefinitely?
Would you be looking for more resources? Or are you confident you could do it all on your own?
Would you feel determined? Or overwhelmed.
That’s a lot to think about!
Let’s review the three most relevant questions you must answer to ensure your future peace.
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As a registered nurse, I generally see people respond to news they will take on the role of a new caregiver, much like someone receiving the news of a new pregnancy.
They experience shock, confusion, and an inability to take it all in. They have hundreds of questions. It’s no wonder because, like pregnancy, the news of a new caregiver role is often entirely unexpected!
More and more people are finding themselves in a position of caregiving.
Whether for a spouse, parent, or friend, the number of caregivers is increasing.
If this sounds like you, please know that you are not alone!
3 Questions to Ask
You need to ask three specific questions to find the answers every new caregiver needs (and seasoned caregivers need this, too!).
According to the Family Caregiving Alliance, “about 44 million Americans provide 37 billion hours of unpaid, ‘informal’ care each year for adult family members and friends with chronic illnesses or conditions that prevent them from handling daily activities such as bathing, managing medications or preparing meals on their own.”
Caregivers are the patient’s lifeline.
Therefore, these three critical questions should be asked and answered early to help you on the potentially long journey as a new caregiver. Let’s go through them next.
The Emotional Support Question
The first and most critical question is, “Do I have enough emotional support for my new caregiver role?”
Unfortunately, it is also the one that is most often ignored and can lead to loneliness or jealousy.
Like anything else you do, everything goes better when you are in a positive and healthy state of mind. Over time, the stress, duties, and pressures of long-term caregiving can start to hide the essence of who you are and what makes you unique.
Caregiving, especially caregiving for people with dementia, is one of the top sources of very high levels of stress.
Stress management is essential.
And most importantly, stress management doesn’t just help the caregiver but can slow the progression of the patient’s dementia.
SET UP TIMES TO BE AWAY FROM CAREGIVING DUTIES!
It may seem like no time for this, but it is imperative.
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The Healthcare Provider Question
Secondly, to get the answers every new caregiver needs, the next question to ask is, “Who is my healthcare provider partner?”
While it is true that many people who start receiving caregiving services have been recently hospitalized or seen by a provider, most have not, and a provider hasn’t seen some in months or years.
SET UP AN APPOINTMENT with a primary care provider (e.g., a family practice provider or an internal medicine provider).
These offices are especially helpful to new caregivers.
After that, contact the provider’s medical assistant or nurse to let them know you are new to your caregiving role and will be calling with questions. Occasionally, it may be appropriate for the caregiver to see the provider if it is too complicated to bring the patient to the office.
Some patients already have multiple providers involved in their care.
Depending on the situation, staying connected with a disease—or injury-specific provider office may be more appropriate. However, over time, it may then make more sense to communicate with a primary care provider as specialty care discharges off of the case.
This step may seem unimportant; however, if you have an illness or a change in health, a quick call to a familiar provider can save you a lot of time, energy, and thousands of dollars in ambulance transit care or emergency room charges. This is a must-do step.
Additionally, if you do not have a place to list all the healthcare provider information, I suggest getting something for that.
While most of us now have smartphones, you may find using a small tool (notebook, binder) to store your loved one’s medical and the provider’s information helpful and convenient. Here is an affordable medical binder I highly recommend.
The Help Question
Finally, to get the answers every new caregiver needs, the third question is, “Do I have a list of hands-on helpers to help me in my new role?”
As people hear the news of the changing health and caregiving situation, they often offer support to the new caregiver with tasks like:
- Sitting with your loved one while you run errands
- Bringing food
- Cleaning
- Driving
- Lawn care
Early on, none of this may seem necessary, OR it may only seem needed for a short time.
Caregiving duties and responsibilities usually last longer than anticipated AND can get more demanding over time.
So, it’s essential that instead of waiting for this overwhelming time to occur, you prepare a list now. As people offer help or services, ask if they are okay with you putting their name and offer on a list to use later.
Most people will graciously approve.
This step may seem irrelevant, but as your duties become more involved over time, it will be a relief to know who you can call for an hour of respite care, a quick errand, lawn services, or help with transportation to medical facilities.
Do it now and thank yourself later.
MAKE A LIST OF HANDS-ON HELPERS, containing their names, phone numbers, and what they can help you with before you desperately need it. No skill or talent is too large or small.
Caregiving can be a long journey. Get the answers every new caregiver needs by asking these three simple questions!
In conclusion, learning that you are a new caregiver is scary. But, there are steps you can take to determine how best to begin and stay on your journey.
Ensure to ask and answer these three types of questions:
- The emotional support question.
- The healthcare provider question.
- And the helper question.
Asking these vital questions will help you be more prepared for your adventure.
Preparation is the key to surviving and enjoying your new caregiving role. Above all, answering these questions will be critical to finding joy and peace on the journey.
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Originally published on November 20, 2017
Be sure to grab your FREE Self-care Starter Guide! Lisa Kimrey is a 33-year veteran registered nurse (RN), speaker, and author of the Bible study, The Self-care Impact: Motivation and Inspiration for Wellness. At Mylifenurse, Lisa combines her nursing expertise with Scripture-based encouragement to show readers who serve and care for others how to begin and maintain their self-care journey – without feeling guilty or overwhelmed – to feel happy, healthy, and rejuvenated.