4 Simple Communication Tips to Be Happy in Marriage

I thought my husband was trying to irritate me on purpose, but nothing could have been further from the truth!

Of course, I didn’t know that at the time.

But this silly belief made me pretty unhappy as a new wife. What you believe can influence how you feel, think, and say.

So, I didn’t always communicate well.

That’s why having a strong foundation for your beliefs is important. One of the most crucial things to believe as a couple is that husbands and wives can communicate well in any circumstance.

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Working on your communication to have a positive relationship experience is part of a healthy self-care plan.

Research shows that the more robust and affirmative your relational self-care experience is every day, the more successful you will be while taking care of yourself or making changes in your lifestyle.

In short, after I pursued this new belief, I discovered four simple communication tips for happiness in marriage. These effective tips changed my attitude.

Therefore, my new belief became a reality.

Here are the four simple communication tips to be happy in marriage.

Mind-Reading Doesn’t Exist

First, I expected my husband to read my mind. Not like in science-fiction movies.

It was more like I felt he should know what I wanted him to do without telling him.

In addition, I assumed he always knew what I was doing and what I would do next. Above all, I believed he should ‘just know’ when I needed his help.

For example, if I was preparing dinner in the kitchen and became overwhelmed, I expected him to come to help me without being asked.

But he didn’t come to help me. Of course, that would make me mad.

Then, I assumed he didn’t want to help me. This thinking led to some pretty heated and one-sided arguments.

But then I set out to learn the truth.

I struggle with saying what I want.

So, I changed my belief about my husband’s ability to know what I want and need without telling him.

Although it is sometimes difficult to say it, I try to remember to tell him what I want.

Returning to my example of preparing dinner, I now use a different strategy.

Instead of thinking my husband doesn’t want to help me, I ask for help. To help me feel more comfortable, I asked him to permit me to ask him to help me.

So I ask.

And, do you know what? Every time I ask him to help me, he does!

Identify the Story

In addition to realizing my husband is not a mind-reader, I am learning that my beliefs lead me to tell myself stories.

What I mean by ‘a story’ is that, besides thinking my husband doesn’t want to help me, I create reasons why my husband feels that way.

It is quite easy to identify when you are telling yourself a story.

When you have thoughts about your husband (especially if they’re negative), ask yourself why he’s doing that. Then, pay attention to the story you’re telling yourself.

The story I told myself in the previously mentioned ‘making dinner scenario’ varied, but I often said to myself that he didn’t want to help me because he was mad at me.

The thought of him being mad at me made me feel defensive (because I felt bad and didn’t know what I had done to make him mad).

Feeling defensive led to emotional arguments.

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Calm Down Before Speaking – Simple Communication Tips to Be Happy in Marriage

I find I have difficulty having a rational conversation if I’m upset.

Therefore, I recommend that you calm down before talking to your spouse when you’re upset.

Give yourself a few minutes to walk away and clear your head to see if you are expecting your husband to read your mind or if you’re telling yourself a story.

Finally, it’s best to allow yourself to feel and work through your emotions so you fully understand yourself before trying to explain your feelings to your spouse.

Speaking to your spouse is easier if your intense emotions are not driving your words.

Pray for Your Husband

The other thing that has positively influenced my marriage is praying for my husband.

I never knew the value of doing this until I completed a simple Bible study called The Power of a Praying Wife.

The study helped me learn numerous ways I can pray for my husband. Even today (after 17 years), I use bookmarked pages as stepping stones to pray for my husband for a few minutes every day during my quiet time.

Praying for your husband is a powerful tool to help you love him as God created him to be.

However, I can also tell you that this study changed me, too! I found that I could pray for him even when I’m upset.

The most important thing I learned through praying for my husband is to stop looking for my husband to fulfill me in the areas where I should be looking to God.

Simple Communication Tips to Be Happy in Marriage Printable

In closing, marriage will always face various challenges, especially with communication.

Following the four simple communication tips can help you find happiness in your marriage:

1. Mind-reading doesn’t exist
2. Identify the story
3. Calm down before speaking
4. Pray for your husband

However, as I mentioned above, the most crucial thing to believe is that husbands and wives can communicate well in any circumstance.

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Related Posts:

Better Communication in Marriage Can Improve Self-care and Routines

5 Ways Self-care Can Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage

Self-Care Protects Christian Intimacy

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The article was originally published on May 19, 2020.